Being Quiet

I wish that title meant that I am being reflective and still or something sophisticated like that, but it's just reference to my quietness on the blog.  I have lots of crafty ideas I want to share, but need to actually complete one.  If you follow me on Pinterest, you might have noticed that I'm collecting ideas like crazy (just not completing).  I have LOTS of autism related thoughts on my mind, but I don't want to be a downer.  We are trying to focus daily on gratitude this month in advance of the Thanksgiving holiday.  We're using the first printable found here to actually write something down each day.

We have completed the school evaluation/IEP (Individualized Education Plan) process.  I've read IEP books and done my homework, but I didn't realize (and apparently the school staff didn't either when they invited us to the IEP meeting) that even thought we decided in advance we would not send Deane to school right now, we still had to complete an IEP.  (I'm not sure we actually needed to now that I have spoken to other sources.)  The whole team seems genuine and well intentioned.  Unforunately, they are figuring out certain things as they go and at least part of the team have never had a parent complete the process and not send their child.  So, I was caught off guard, but I believe that since we signed that we didn't accept the IEP, we won't have to live with anything that they wrote for goals.  Frustrating, but we move forward and have done some of the leg work for Deane's future IEP. 

Chris was gone a couple days and they were LONG days.  He is at a retreat today and through the weekend (except for time to come home and sleep).  He isn't here during the day normally, but I so look forward to sharing the responsibility at 5 or 6PM.  I was trying very hard to consistently discipline Deane throughout the day and log his behaviors.  A lot of this plan is based on ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) principles.  We consider that from a behavioral standpoint, he wouldn't continue to do something if it wasn't "working for him" or if he wasn't "getting something from it".  It's not that foreign of an idea to parents.  For example, most young children can't articulate their emotions so they may cry or hit to get the input they need.  With a child that is getting older and stronger, this can be dangerous  and frustrating to parents and siblings.  Yesterday was a great day, but I can tell this morning, he's not quite as happy or comfortable.

I read a blog yesterday of a mom of 4 boys who said she sets her goals low each day - showering, feeding her kids and helping them appear clean so that all other accomplishments are bonus.  I totally identify and am sure most moms of babies and toddlers can too, but I also recognize that I can't really give myself a break like that.  This, right now, is the time that Deane needs me to be on my game most.  He needs help understanding the world and adapting to it while he's little enough to comfortably do so.  What we do now will determine his future.  That's too heavy on some days for me and I thank God on those days for Word World! :)

I've reinstituted the picture schedule to help Deane keep back on track.  We have noticed he has been "off" much of the last week so hopefully between my log and getting more structured again, we will sort this out.  Here's a photo of our picture schedule. 

It's just laminated photo of actions/activities (provided by a speech therapist) that I velcroed to a piece of foam core board.  I never imagined this would be so effective, but it really seems to help Deane know what to expect and smooths transitions considerably.  Even though the schedule went smoothly yesterday, Deane tore all of the pictures off the schedule and threw them around the living room when I was busy with Kate.  I ignored this as I didn't see him do it.  It's as though he was saying "I'll follow the schedule, but I'm not happy about it."

We are praying for something to happen with the house or work opportunities that give us some direction.  I wouldn't say that we are anxious about it, but want to feel proactive.  St. Joseph is standing by:

I find it incredibly interesting that there are instructions that dispell the myth that the statuette needs to be buried upside down and also reminds us that our home must be properly priced and minor repairs done!  Isn't that funny?  St. Joseph has conditions. :)

I was lucky enough to get a little R&R with some great friends, Amanda and Maegan, last night at a cute restaurant in Peoria called 309.  We had an "incident" there with Deane after which I vowed not to return out of embarassment.  I'm so glad I did and actually got to enjoy the food and good company.  This quote comes to mind...
 "It takes a long time to grow an old friend." - John Leonard

Happy Weekend!