Giving Thanks & Preparing for the Season

We hosted a great family Thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family on Sunday.  Here are a few scenes from the afternoon.

Based on this idea.

My dad and Kate

Grandparents and grandkids playing a computer game before everyone arrived.

There were 45 of us which is almost exactly half of the family as my mom is one of 14 siblings.  It's an amazing privilege to grow up with a close family of so many immediate relatives.

I tried this idea, but I didn't buy cones with flat tops.  These were the only survivors and they didn't look very cute.

We had a potluck which made it easy work for us to prepare.  Everything was yummy.  My contribution was turkey pot pie rather than the typical turkey.  I made this recipe and used my own which I created for chicken pot pie as well.  I doubled my own recipe and didn't use a crust on the bottom of the other recipe.  Both went into 13x9 pans.  The Pillsbury continuous dough sheets are awesome for this use.

I made my version of this awesome ribbon belt and tried a few other styles of flowers from my Fabric Flower board.

Cousin football!

We will have my family over for the big day tomorrow.  It will be laid back.  We are planning an appetizer lunch and traditional dinner.  I've put several of the recipes we'll be making on my Recipes to Try board on Pinterest.

The much more important reason for this post is to get ahead of what's been hanging over us all since Halloween....Christmas season, the commercial version.  I like a nice gift as much as the next gal and LOVE picking out the perfect gift for someone else, but this year is just different. 

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Experiencing a humbling financial  and spiritual year with all of our big changes (becoming a one income household, receiving Deane's autism diagnosis and pursuing treatment, etc.), has given me inspiration to make something more of this holiday season than the pursuit of gifts and parties.

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I'm so thankful for other bloggers out there who inspire me and are on the same page with my plan.  One of my favorite bloggers, Glennon from Momastery, just published a post about the exact concept I've been working on....a season of Random Acts of Kindness.  So, here's a list of the ideas we're working on/planning:

1. Package for the homeless (items to distribute to homeless/panhandlers such as hand warmers, socks, gloves, snacks, etc.)
2. Food Pantry donation
3. Pay for someone else's toll, parking meter, fast food order, etc.
4. Send gift card to someone for no specific reason
5. Send note of encouragement
6. Compliment good service directly to the manager
7. Take a homemade meal to someone
8. Angel tree
9. Support a child in something important to them.
10. Gift for mail person/paper delivery person
11. Treats for police, fire, emergency workers with note of thanks
12. Recognize military families in some way
13. Pick up litter
14. Help someone having a winter weather emergency
15. Let someone ahead of you in line
16. Smile at every stranger you see
17. Donate to coat drive
18. Do something for someone who causes you to be jealous, frustrated, angry, etc.

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I thought I would have all of my Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving, but I now hope to have it done by the end of the month.  We will start our Random Acts of Kindness on Friday and hopefully we will follow through daily until Christmas and then focus on the celebration of Christmas through January 6th.  I'm also hoping to participate in a lot of the family oriented seasonal events like Christmas walks, etc.  Hopefully good pictures to share will follow.

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I would love to hear how others celebrate the season or additional Random Acts of Kindness (RAK) ideas.  Happy Thanksgiving and Christmas season to you!

Making it Thanksgiving-ey

I did a little bit of Fall add ins to my decor earlier this Autumn, but I felt we needed a few more touches to celebrate Thanksgiving. 

I had an idea for a burlap message board awhile back using...a burnt up jelly/cookie pan.  I was so happy I could upcycle this item rather than throwing it away.  I would only use it when everything else was in use and it ALWAYS burnt whatever I put on it.  But now it has a happier place in my kitchen.

I started with my burnt up pan and some raw burlap

I wrapped and hot glued...and repeat

Until all was fairly tightly wrapped, don't admire the back...

So, I completed this message board and wondered exactly where to put it and how to use it.  So, it sat and waited for Thanksgiving to come.  I got the idea to decorate it for Thanksgiving with seasonal magnets that I made using printables and a little flower I made (again with hot glue). 

You can find the printables on my Autumn Pinterest board.  Also behind the magnets is a "green background" image I printed on cardstock.  I have stuffed recipes and invites on here.  The magnets don't get gross from stove being nearby because I laminated them.  I can't wait to do a little Christmas theme and so on.  Sad jelly pan turned happy message board!

Here are some other new Thanksgiving items about my house:

I borrowed this idea from here.  I found a font from dafont.com that I liked and downloaded it, sized it on a PowerPoint slide and projected it on this $10 drop cloth from Wal-mart. 

I used a brown sharpie so that it would be permanent for washing and allow me to simply paint inside the lines.  I folded the dropcloth over a piece of pegboard I had and leaned it up against a bed, setting my laptop and projector on the floor.

 It's not perfect, but I love it!

 I found my paint at JoAnn Fabrics and used an angle brushes in two sizes to paint in the letters.  I heat sealed it with my iron and washed it successfully.  If you use a drop cloth, it will roll up in the wash and the edges will fray.  If you don't like that look, use a regular tablecloth or seal the edges.

Printable Source

 I framed a few cute printables you will find on my Autumn Pinterest board as well.

I love decorating the mantel and used this printable to do so.

We're looking forward to celebrating with our family this weekend and through next week.

Chris and I are going on an overnight trip this week, but he doesn't know where so I'm very excited to reveal that plan.  His birthday is the same day as Thanksgiving so this is a chance to make him feel special in advance.  He'll be 33 - whoa - he's really getting up there :)

It's going to be 60 here today so we're heading to the zoo before an OT appointment.  Deane is VERY excited!

I might just have a few more Thanksgiving updates yet to come...we shall see.

Being Quiet

I wish that title meant that I am being reflective and still or something sophisticated like that, but it's just reference to my quietness on the blog.  I have lots of crafty ideas I want to share, but need to actually complete one.  If you follow me on Pinterest, you might have noticed that I'm collecting ideas like crazy (just not completing).  I have LOTS of autism related thoughts on my mind, but I don't want to be a downer.  We are trying to focus daily on gratitude this month in advance of the Thanksgiving holiday.  We're using the first printable found here to actually write something down each day.

We have completed the school evaluation/IEP (Individualized Education Plan) process.  I've read IEP books and done my homework, but I didn't realize (and apparently the school staff didn't either when they invited us to the IEP meeting) that even thought we decided in advance we would not send Deane to school right now, we still had to complete an IEP.  (I'm not sure we actually needed to now that I have spoken to other sources.)  The whole team seems genuine and well intentioned.  Unforunately, they are figuring out certain things as they go and at least part of the team have never had a parent complete the process and not send their child.  So, I was caught off guard, but I believe that since we signed that we didn't accept the IEP, we won't have to live with anything that they wrote for goals.  Frustrating, but we move forward and have done some of the leg work for Deane's future IEP. 

Chris was gone a couple days and they were LONG days.  He is at a retreat today and through the weekend (except for time to come home and sleep).  He isn't here during the day normally, but I so look forward to sharing the responsibility at 5 or 6PM.  I was trying very hard to consistently discipline Deane throughout the day and log his behaviors.  A lot of this plan is based on ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) principles.  We consider that from a behavioral standpoint, he wouldn't continue to do something if it wasn't "working for him" or if he wasn't "getting something from it".  It's not that foreign of an idea to parents.  For example, most young children can't articulate their emotions so they may cry or hit to get the input they need.  With a child that is getting older and stronger, this can be dangerous  and frustrating to parents and siblings.  Yesterday was a great day, but I can tell this morning, he's not quite as happy or comfortable.

I read a blog yesterday of a mom of 4 boys who said she sets her goals low each day - showering, feeding her kids and helping them appear clean so that all other accomplishments are bonus.  I totally identify and am sure most moms of babies and toddlers can too, but I also recognize that I can't really give myself a break like that.  This, right now, is the time that Deane needs me to be on my game most.  He needs help understanding the world and adapting to it while he's little enough to comfortably do so.  What we do now will determine his future.  That's too heavy on some days for me and I thank God on those days for Word World! :)

I've reinstituted the picture schedule to help Deane keep back on track.  We have noticed he has been "off" much of the last week so hopefully between my log and getting more structured again, we will sort this out.  Here's a photo of our picture schedule. 

It's just laminated photo of actions/activities (provided by a speech therapist) that I velcroed to a piece of foam core board.  I never imagined this would be so effective, but it really seems to help Deane know what to expect and smooths transitions considerably.  Even though the schedule went smoothly yesterday, Deane tore all of the pictures off the schedule and threw them around the living room when I was busy with Kate.  I ignored this as I didn't see him do it.  It's as though he was saying "I'll follow the schedule, but I'm not happy about it."

We are praying for something to happen with the house or work opportunities that give us some direction.  I wouldn't say that we are anxious about it, but want to feel proactive.  St. Joseph is standing by:

I find it incredibly interesting that there are instructions that dispell the myth that the statuette needs to be buried upside down and also reminds us that our home must be properly priced and minor repairs done!  Isn't that funny?  St. Joseph has conditions. :)

I was lucky enough to get a little R&R with some great friends, Amanda and Maegan, last night at a cute restaurant in Peoria called 309.  We had an "incident" there with Deane after which I vowed not to return out of embarassment.  I'm so glad I did and actually got to enjoy the food and good company.  This quote comes to mind...
 "It takes a long time to grow an old friend." - John Leonard

Happy Weekend!

"I Will Rise"

When I have a day like today, I often think to "blog it out" and sometimes I even draft it, but its exhausting to experience it and then to write it out and by time I'm editing it, I'm over it.  But I want to share it because it's important to be able to reflect on our progress in the future and for others to understand my son and other kids like him. 

My children slept until 8AM...this has never happened. I guess God thougt I could use a little extra rest to make it through.  As I got the kids ready, I also prepped for our day out.

We visited the Family Museum.  The train table is the area that makes me most nervous because it requires sharing and is Deane's favorite.  A mom with her two children joined us there.  Her kids were awesome and played with 1 or 2 trains that Deane wasn't and let him run his 6 car train all over the table.  Kate eventually wanted in.  She is used to grabbing for his stuff.  During this time, the mom and I are chatting and she even invited me to a playgroup from her church.  Deane became distracted with something nearby so another little girl picked up his train.  He noticed (as he always does) and quickly grabbed a couple cars from her.  I intervened, reminded him we must share.  Deane's reaction to his frustration isn't verbal.  He hasn't figured out how to process these feelings and communicate them.  He decided to hit Kate.  I was requiring him to say "sorry" to the other little girl (which he  maybe/kind of did) but I told him we would have to go because there is no hitting or grabbing.  I knew it was about to hit the fan if we kept playing there and thought this was the ultimate punishment, to remove him from the train altogether.  The first mom was so sweet to tell me her name and nice to meet me as I was trying to resolve this.  I figured she was thinking why did I invite this crazy crew to our playgroup.  I walked them over to Kate's stroller to buckle her in.  Deane bolted and pushed the little girl at the train table.  I apologized to the girl's stunned grandma who sat with her mouth open and didn't say a word.  I carried a yelling and flopping Deane out. 

We didn't have enough time to go home before our afternoon appointment so we met Chris for lunch.  Deane looked alarmed going through the line at Qdoba (where we chose because I had a coupon but forgot to use!).  He just folded into Chris.  Fortunately, it was nice enough to sit outside so Deane could recline into a chair and get away from the noise.  Chris reminded me that I'm doing the right thing by continuing to try and give Deane new opportunities and that I shouldn't hide at home.  Then Chris dumped my drink on the ground :)

Next we had to go to occupational therapy.  Deane was upset on the way and as we arrived, repeating NO over and over.  In the waiting room, we repeated the sharing "teaching" (aka refereeing) until it was time for him to go back.  He did fine in his session (with the exception of screaming about the idea of touching shaving cream), but afterward wanted to take their dinosaurs with him even though we have several plastic dinosaurs at home.  He screamed and cried while we left, changed his diaper and drove home, for about 25 minutes, until he passed out.  Just after he fell asleep, I heard Steve Shawn McDonald's "Rise".  It's such an uplifting song and a reminder to get back up. 

I'm so sorry that life is so frustrating for Deane and that seemingly small things cause him to behave in a way that label him and us.  BUT we will try again... 

Since both children are asleep, I am quickly typing this up (sorry no editing today) and running downstairs to watch a little Real Housewives, but only because it would be inappropriate to have a margarita at 3PM....I think.

Mom's Fall Fiesta (Classic)

You may have heard about a little thing known as Game 6 of the World Series.  Although winning the series was the culmination, Game 6 was extra special to us, Cardinal fans.  It was so exciting with its ups and downs and repeated comebacks by the Cards.  It was also my Mom's birthday.

She has sacrified her big day to the baseball gods more than once.  My dad actually cancelled her surprise 30th birthday party because the Cards were in the Fall Classic.  But she's a good sport (no pun intended) so our little family got together and I tried to make it slightly festive. 
Who knew you could do a Fall Fiesta?  We had a nacho bar.

I made a red velvet fall themed cake.  I have used Wilton icing coloring for this cake and Kate's cake and it's very cost effective when you need bold color.  I used this recipes for the cake and the icing. 

Deane helped to blow out the candles and eat the cake, of course.

I didn't write this post about the Cardinals or my red velvet cake though.  I wrote this post because my Mom's birthday being swept in with the game mid-week is representative of how life is when you're a mom and particularly my mom.  Moms share their celebrations and I'm sure Mom was happier to have most of us in one place at home watching a baseball game than she would have been to go out for a fancy dinner without her kids or grandchildren. 

Since the time Deane was born, Mom has been the 2nd in line caregiver for my children.  When I was working, she was always the one to watch them and since Kate was born, she would come to my house so it was more convenient for us and I could see them at lunchtime.  I know this is uncommon and very special. 

I'm, of course, eternally grateful for the privilege of knowing exactly how my children will be cared for, having a great deal of flexibility in making my plans, and the dishes, laundry, etc. that she does in addition to watching my kids!  BUT I even more appreciate that it's impossible to hire someone to love your children the way Mom loves my kids.  It's a relationship changing, life altering thing to have a grandma so willing to devote her time, energy and love to your children.  I certainly do not take it for granted and recognize how lucky I am.

I love you, Mom!  I'm so glad to spend your birthday with you, but also to spend so many of our days together talking, planning, dreaming, and making my children's lives so rich and special.

Making Memories

Tidbits from our life of late...

Kate started signing "More"in early October. This was a necessity as she is very interested in feeding herself little bits of anything she can get her hands on which has included far more things that I would have allowed with Deane. I guess I've really loosened up with kiddo #2.  She continues to make a lot of frustrating grunting and screeching sounds so we'll be continuing focus on words and signs for my sanity!

We are loving the early October gorgeous weather. Windows open...playing outside...wearing shorts! As I prepared for our garage sale, Deane and I carted a ball up and then down the yard.  I'm hoping this means he will be a good shopper, but I'm guessing it's more about being outside.

At the grocery store last week, Deane said "Hi Grammy" to a random woman who was probably in her 60s.  She looked nothing like any of his grandmas.  I found this exciting because I believe he is generalizing that most older women are grandmas and not just that this is my mom's name.

Deane has also started saying lots of functional things like "I'll get it!" if he drops something or Roxie comes to the door.  Functional language = happy mama!

Kate is now SO BIG!

"Go see animals at the zoo!"  We live about 15 minutes from Niabi Zoo and Deane knows when we are in the vicinity of the zoo (which is basically every time we drive into town).  He says a few variations, also "love the animals at the zoo".  He is especially interested in giraffes (because of the adorable baby giraffe).

Deane opted not to ring the bell on the train, but every time he hears it, he announces it.

Dad & Deane by the elephants

Being a monkey

Baby Giraffe

He loved calling everything a wallaby after we told him what these were.

Kate relaxing in her stroller, as we try to keep up with brother

Chris & Deane after feeding the giraffes.  Deane wanted to help, but got too excited and dropped the lettuce each time the giraffe came close.

Papa & Deane on the butterfly chairs

Deane is also very excited about rhinos, but we had to settle for the statue.

We also made the required Fall visit to an orchard/pumpkin patch.  This year Mom, Deane, Kate and I made a quick stop to Stone's Apple Barn.  The highlight was the animals, not the apples for Deane.

Baby Sister was less enthusiastic about the llamas

Grammy & Deane saying hi to the llama

This is how all of my photos of both children are turning out these days!

It's such a pleasure to stay home with my children.  Yes, there are hard days, hours, etc., but to be able to introduce them to new things throughout the day every day is a blessing.  I had not been to the Putnam Museum since I was a child.  It was amazing to explain to Deane what a submarine is and look at all the "pretend" (aka taxidermed) animals.

I think this was a "wigwam" - group photo



running the controls on a mechanical arm in the "submarine"

Deane was enthralled by the rhino!

When Deane does something to Kate (such as hitting or pulling a toy out of her hands), we ask him to apologize to her.  The other day he screamed at me and Chris jumped in and said, "Say sorry for screaming".  Deane looked at me and said  "I'm sorry I screamed".  This is HUGE.  He typically says "I'm sorry" but beyond that his use of pronouns is rarely correct and here he expanded it and conjugated the verb!  I love these little surprises.  Whereas a typical child might learn quickly and at a younger age, we are getting the opportunity to witness the development of language in baby steps.  It's a beautiful experience and I pray Deane continues to be motivated to speak more and more.

Our life has been full of many not so fun or happy moments this month and honestly several preceeding months.  I'm not ignoring these realities or pretending like life is better than it is.  I think my Making Memories posts focus on just how good life is even in the midst of struggle.  I posted about making big decisions recently and we have made one...to list our home for sale. It's sad as we thought this was a place we would be for a long, long time, our dream home.  It is a blessing to be on the same page with Chris about what is right for our family.  Now, we're looking for the relief that will come with selling or leasing our home so we can gain more control over our future and hopefully maintain the opportunity for me to stay home with the kiddos. 

It's been a wild, fun, surreal month!