"I Will Rise"

When I have a day like today, I often think to "blog it out" and sometimes I even draft it, but its exhausting to experience it and then to write it out and by time I'm editing it, I'm over it.  But I want to share it because it's important to be able to reflect on our progress in the future and for others to understand my son and other kids like him. 

My children slept until 8AM...this has never happened. I guess God thougt I could use a little extra rest to make it through.  As I got the kids ready, I also prepped for our day out.

We visited the Family Museum.  The train table is the area that makes me most nervous because it requires sharing and is Deane's favorite.  A mom with her two children joined us there.  Her kids were awesome and played with 1 or 2 trains that Deane wasn't and let him run his 6 car train all over the table.  Kate eventually wanted in.  She is used to grabbing for his stuff.  During this time, the mom and I are chatting and she even invited me to a playgroup from her church.  Deane became distracted with something nearby so another little girl picked up his train.  He noticed (as he always does) and quickly grabbed a couple cars from her.  I intervened, reminded him we must share.  Deane's reaction to his frustration isn't verbal.  He hasn't figured out how to process these feelings and communicate them.  He decided to hit Kate.  I was requiring him to say "sorry" to the other little girl (which he  maybe/kind of did) but I told him we would have to go because there is no hitting or grabbing.  I knew it was about to hit the fan if we kept playing there and thought this was the ultimate punishment, to remove him from the train altogether.  The first mom was so sweet to tell me her name and nice to meet me as I was trying to resolve this.  I figured she was thinking why did I invite this crazy crew to our playgroup.  I walked them over to Kate's stroller to buckle her in.  Deane bolted and pushed the little girl at the train table.  I apologized to the girl's stunned grandma who sat with her mouth open and didn't say a word.  I carried a yelling and flopping Deane out. 

We didn't have enough time to go home before our afternoon appointment so we met Chris for lunch.  Deane looked alarmed going through the line at Qdoba (where we chose because I had a coupon but forgot to use!).  He just folded into Chris.  Fortunately, it was nice enough to sit outside so Deane could recline into a chair and get away from the noise.  Chris reminded me that I'm doing the right thing by continuing to try and give Deane new opportunities and that I shouldn't hide at home.  Then Chris dumped my drink on the ground :)

Next we had to go to occupational therapy.  Deane was upset on the way and as we arrived, repeating NO over and over.  In the waiting room, we repeated the sharing "teaching" (aka refereeing) until it was time for him to go back.  He did fine in his session (with the exception of screaming about the idea of touching shaving cream), but afterward wanted to take their dinosaurs with him even though we have several plastic dinosaurs at home.  He screamed and cried while we left, changed his diaper and drove home, for about 25 minutes, until he passed out.  Just after he fell asleep, I heard Steve Shawn McDonald's "Rise".  It's such an uplifting song and a reminder to get back up. 

I'm so sorry that life is so frustrating for Deane and that seemingly small things cause him to behave in a way that label him and us.  BUT we will try again... 

Since both children are asleep, I am quickly typing this up (sorry no editing today) and running downstairs to watch a little Real Housewives, but only because it would be inappropriate to have a margarita at 3PM....I think.

Mom's Fall Fiesta (Classic)

You may have heard about a little thing known as Game 6 of the World Series.  Although winning the series was the culmination, Game 6 was extra special to us, Cardinal fans.  It was so exciting with its ups and downs and repeated comebacks by the Cards.  It was also my Mom's birthday.

She has sacrified her big day to the baseball gods more than once.  My dad actually cancelled her surprise 30th birthday party because the Cards were in the Fall Classic.  But she's a good sport (no pun intended) so our little family got together and I tried to make it slightly festive. 
Who knew you could do a Fall Fiesta?  We had a nacho bar.

I made a red velvet fall themed cake.  I have used Wilton icing coloring for this cake and Kate's cake and it's very cost effective when you need bold color.  I used this recipes for the cake and the icing. 

Deane helped to blow out the candles and eat the cake, of course.

I didn't write this post about the Cardinals or my red velvet cake though.  I wrote this post because my Mom's birthday being swept in with the game mid-week is representative of how life is when you're a mom and particularly my mom.  Moms share their celebrations and I'm sure Mom was happier to have most of us in one place at home watching a baseball game than she would have been to go out for a fancy dinner without her kids or grandchildren. 

Since the time Deane was born, Mom has been the 2nd in line caregiver for my children.  When I was working, she was always the one to watch them and since Kate was born, she would come to my house so it was more convenient for us and I could see them at lunchtime.  I know this is uncommon and very special. 

I'm, of course, eternally grateful for the privilege of knowing exactly how my children will be cared for, having a great deal of flexibility in making my plans, and the dishes, laundry, etc. that she does in addition to watching my kids!  BUT I even more appreciate that it's impossible to hire someone to love your children the way Mom loves my kids.  It's a relationship changing, life altering thing to have a grandma so willing to devote her time, energy and love to your children.  I certainly do not take it for granted and recognize how lucky I am.

I love you, Mom!  I'm so glad to spend your birthday with you, but also to spend so many of our days together talking, planning, dreaming, and making my children's lives so rich and special.

Making Memories

Tidbits from our life of late...

Kate started signing "More"in early October. This was a necessity as she is very interested in feeding herself little bits of anything she can get her hands on which has included far more things that I would have allowed with Deane. I guess I've really loosened up with kiddo #2.  She continues to make a lot of frustrating grunting and screeching sounds so we'll be continuing focus on words and signs for my sanity!

We are loving the early October gorgeous weather. Windows open...playing outside...wearing shorts! As I prepared for our garage sale, Deane and I carted a ball up and then down the yard.  I'm hoping this means he will be a good shopper, but I'm guessing it's more about being outside.

At the grocery store last week, Deane said "Hi Grammy" to a random woman who was probably in her 60s.  She looked nothing like any of his grandmas.  I found this exciting because I believe he is generalizing that most older women are grandmas and not just that this is my mom's name.

Deane has also started saying lots of functional things like "I'll get it!" if he drops something or Roxie comes to the door.  Functional language = happy mama!

Kate is now SO BIG!

"Go see animals at the zoo!"  We live about 15 minutes from Niabi Zoo and Deane knows when we are in the vicinity of the zoo (which is basically every time we drive into town).  He says a few variations, also "love the animals at the zoo".  He is especially interested in giraffes (because of the adorable baby giraffe).

Deane opted not to ring the bell on the train, but every time he hears it, he announces it.

Dad & Deane by the elephants

Being a monkey

Baby Giraffe

He loved calling everything a wallaby after we told him what these were.

Kate relaxing in her stroller, as we try to keep up with brother

Chris & Deane after feeding the giraffes.  Deane wanted to help, but got too excited and dropped the lettuce each time the giraffe came close.

Papa & Deane on the butterfly chairs

Deane is also very excited about rhinos, but we had to settle for the statue.

We also made the required Fall visit to an orchard/pumpkin patch.  This year Mom, Deane, Kate and I made a quick stop to Stone's Apple Barn.  The highlight was the animals, not the apples for Deane.

Baby Sister was less enthusiastic about the llamas

Grammy & Deane saying hi to the llama

This is how all of my photos of both children are turning out these days!

It's such a pleasure to stay home with my children.  Yes, there are hard days, hours, etc., but to be able to introduce them to new things throughout the day every day is a blessing.  I had not been to the Putnam Museum since I was a child.  It was amazing to explain to Deane what a submarine is and look at all the "pretend" (aka taxidermed) animals.

I think this was a "wigwam" - group photo



running the controls on a mechanical arm in the "submarine"

Deane was enthralled by the rhino!

When Deane does something to Kate (such as hitting or pulling a toy out of her hands), we ask him to apologize to her.  The other day he screamed at me and Chris jumped in and said, "Say sorry for screaming".  Deane looked at me and said  "I'm sorry I screamed".  This is HUGE.  He typically says "I'm sorry" but beyond that his use of pronouns is rarely correct and here he expanded it and conjugated the verb!  I love these little surprises.  Whereas a typical child might learn quickly and at a younger age, we are getting the opportunity to witness the development of language in baby steps.  It's a beautiful experience and I pray Deane continues to be motivated to speak more and more.

Our life has been full of many not so fun or happy moments this month and honestly several preceeding months.  I'm not ignoring these realities or pretending like life is better than it is.  I think my Making Memories posts focus on just how good life is even in the midst of struggle.  I posted about making big decisions recently and we have made one...to list our home for sale. It's sad as we thought this was a place we would be for a long, long time, our dream home.  It is a blessing to be on the same page with Chris about what is right for our family.  Now, we're looking for the relief that will come with selling or leasing our home so we can gain more control over our future and hopefully maintain the opportunity for me to stay home with the kiddos. 

It's been a wild, fun, surreal month!

Baby Kate Turns 1!

Kate's first birthday was Friday.  Sadly my sweet baby girl was sick with a cough, runny nose, sore throat, etc.  We had planned a birthday brunch for Saturday morning that we sadly had to cancel.  The preparations had already started so we pieced together some birthday fun when it was enjoyable for Kate.  Here are the bits and pieces of our preparations and celebrations:
Cream Cheeses:
Pumpkin Cream Cheese:
8 oz. light cream cheese, softened slightly
1 cup of pureed pumpkin (I used my own, but canned would work and maybe have a stronger flavor)
1-2 T. pumpkin pie spice
Mix and enjoy

 Boursin & Green Onion Cream Cheese:
8 oz. light cream cheese, softened slightly
1/2 package of Boursin
1/8 cup sliced green onions
Mix and enjoy.  This is good with pita chips as well as bagels.

Rainbow Fruit Tray - I ommitted the purple grapes since I accidently bought seeded grapes.

Our brunch ended up being a dinner so much of our brunch plans were just enjoyed by our family for breakfast over the weekend.

I tried out the rainbow cake that has been all over the web.  The cake was unbelievably moist and the frosting was delicious, but far too runny.  I used this recipe for the cake, but I also followed the sugggestion of this recipe to add fruit.  I used this Magnolia Bakery frosting recipe, but I doubled it.  It was FAR too much frosting and would have benefited from less milk.  I would recommend adding in a bit of milk as you go.  In addition to the fruit I used food coloring to brighten the colors.  I was very pleased with the flavor of the cake.

 I made some "Happy Birthday Kate" confetti on my Cricut as well.

These rainbow colored poms were made with tissue paper I already had using this tutorial.  I combined various shades of these colors.  They were basic, but festive.  I used pipe cleaner to hold them which made it easy to hang them from twine with scotch tape.

 Here is Deane "helping" his dad hang the poms.

I made a photo banner to hang across the mantel.  I just printed my favorite photo from each month on photo paper, cut circles and numbers using my Cricut and decogpauged those pieces together.  Using clothes pins, I attached each photo and decopauged number to the ribbon.
I'm most proud that I didn't spend a cent on any of our decorations.  I only used materials I owned.  It brings me such joy to make use of items that have been sitting in containers for such a special purpose as celebrating my little girl.

We didn't have the party we planned, but it was still fun to celebrate Kate!  You can see more of the ideas I collected on Kate's Pinterest birthday board.

Delicious Dry Rub Ribs

I don't like barbecue sauce.  Growing up, I avoided anything that was considered "barbecued" because I thought that meant it involved the taste of barbecue sauce.  On a trip to Memphis about five years ago, my husband introduced me to Rendezvous Ribs delicious dry rub ribs.  You can have sauce too, but you don't need it! 

The atmosphere at Rendezvous is as enjoyable as the ribs.  Their seasoned servers can be heard offering "Plate a ribs, pitcher beer?"  We haven't been to Memphis since my first visit, so we needed to improvise.

Last night my family spent the evening watching (and then celebrating) the St. Louis Cardinals and eating ribs.  Here's how we make them:
I buy what Hy-Vee calls Country Style Pork Ribs.  You can find them on sale for as low as 1.99/lb. in our area.

To get started, make your dry rub.  You can find several recipes for Rendezvous' dry rub, but I think you can use a little of most anything you have.  I will asterisk the ingredients I think are most important to the flavor.

Salt

Ground Pepper*

Paprika*

Celery Salt*

Celery Seed

Ground Oregano

Allspice

Cayenne (Red Pepper)*

Garlic Salt or Powder*

Onion Powder*

Chili Powder

Ground Coriander

I don't measure, I just throw it in.  I try to make about 3 tablespoons worth for the approximate 4 pounds of ribs. 

Then add about 1/4-1/2 cup of vinegar and equal parts water.  Mix.

Pour over the ribs in a tight container and refrigerate for as long as you can.  I usually let them marinade for a few hours.

Chris does the grilling at our house.  We like to charcoal our ribs.  I love the way it smells and tastes.  The following is Chris's rib grilling strategy in his words:

I light mostly charcoal and a few chunks of hickory.  I let it burn with the lid open for about 20 minutes.  Then I spread the coals evenly and put on the ribs.  I immediately baste them with their marinade making sure to get the liquid and remnant dry seasoning on the ribs.  Ten to fifteen minutes later I baste them again and repeat this ten to fifteen minutes later, then flip them and baste again.  One more basting ten to fifteen minutes later and then they are usually ready in a few minutes."

So if you lost count, that is five bastings over 33-48 minutes.  Precision is what we are offering today!  :)

The USDA changed pork cooking standards earlier this year.  I really like having the ribs a little pink and juicy, but of course cook them to your liking.

Can you imagine a group of people that don't want their picture taken while collecting their dinner?

Chris displaying his rib. 

My sister and brother loading up their plates...so happy I'm taking their picture.

Dad displaying his Cardinal pride.

At least I didn't take photos of them actually eating ribs. 

Enjoy your ribs!